Embracing the Erotic
When you hear the word erotic what comes to mind?
Is it slinky black lingerie? sexual exploits? something shameful?
Recently I hosted a workshop called - Experiential Embodiment through the Erotic. I began by asking what brought the women to the workshop.
80% of the answers I heard had to do with reclaiming, discovering, or defining their sexuality.
At first I was taken aback. Feeling like I was going to disappoint these women who had come to find their sexuality. But I quickly remembered that sexuality, like any other part of a woman’s being, is intrinsically linked to exactly what I was about to share.
My definition of the erotic is a collection of quotes from an essay by Audre Lorde- Uses of the Erotic: The Erotic as Power.
Erotic:
¨a resource within each of us that lies in a deeply female and spiritual plane, firmly rooted in the power of our unexpressed or unrecognized feeling¨
¨that power which rises from our deepest and nonrational knowledge¨
¨a measure between the beginnings of our sense of self and the chaos of our strongest feelings. It is an internal sense of satisfaction to which, once we have experienced it, we know we can aspire¨
¨misnamed by men and used against women. It has been made into the confused , the trivial, the psychotic, the plasticized sensation¨
¨not a question only of what we do; it is a question of how acutely and fully we can feel in the doing¨
¨an assertion of the lifeforce of women; of that creative energy empowered¨
-Audre Lorde
As you can see, the erotic is so much more than the sexualization of feeling.
The erotic is our innate feeling body, it is a way to move through life, it is our intuition, our feminine essence, and the ability to experience every moment with presence.
To relegate the erotic as something meant only for sexy time is to cut off a piece of your primal power.
By reclaiming the erotic in all aspects of your life you allow your passion to color everything you do. Your life becomes one brilliant felt moment after the next. You begin to see and know what isn’t working anymore and ultimately you must make those things right because you know what is in your heart. You have heard her call.
And yes, in the process of remembering to feel everything, you find your sexuality-whatever that may mean to you.
But how?
How do you reclaim the erotic?
How do you reclaim the erotic when so much of our society is steeped in numbness, overconsumption, oppression, materialism, consumerism, and exploitation?
The answer is in the simplicity of slowing down, taking deep breaths, and becoming aware of the wisdom within your body.
Maybe that doesn’t sound so simple. Maybe you, like so many other women, have been told too many times (intentionally and unintentionally) your body is not a safe place to inhabit.
So go slow. Be present. Have compassion. And trust that your body does know best.
With practice, the language of your body will become fluent like your native tongue.
You got this sister.
