Fear of the Flip
Have you ever been paralyzed by your fear?
Everytime you freeze and then continue on with your day like it aint never happened
SOMETHING, that thing that your feared, the denial of your fear, the lack of integration of the fear into your body GETs STUCK. Its like when you are about to speak up but you get cut off or just decide what you had to say isn’t that important. That feeling in your throat, like you swallowed too much before you chewed and you almost choke.
Recently I learned to do a back flip on my trampoline. I was so excited because its something I always dreamed of doing as a kid. I always wanted to be in gymnastics. My mother instead put me through soccer my entire childhood, but that’s another story.
So, I was back-flipping for a couple days and then I get on the trampoline one morning and got ready to flip. One, two, go! I didn’t go. My body flew backwards and I landed on the far side of the tramp. I was confused, and the more I started thinking about it the more I couldn’t flip. My body knew how to flip. But the fear in my mind was so palpable it blocked off the knowing of my body. All I knew in the moment was failure, pain, inadequacy..
So in this moment what do you do? This frozen moment of (feels like a lifetime) FEAR that seems so unbearably scary.
You move. You shake. You release. And you move on.
I moved away from the trampoline for a couple days. When I went back I acted like a gorilla and growled and bounced and tasted my fear again, I fully felt into it, and then I did a back flip.
